too good to be true.

throughout the past few years i often thought that my life seemed too good to be true. i remember thinking that i’ve never really had lots of crap happen to me. at least, nothing tragic or completely life altering. until now. and it pisses me of that i was right. my life was too good to be true.

when my dad was diagnosed with the liver disease seven years ago, it was awful. the worst day of my life, at that point. he went in for a no biggie procedure that would clear what they thought was a clogged bile duct. but they were wrong. what they found was PSC, otherwise known as primary sclerosing cholangitis, otherwise known as a piece of shit liver that would eventually fail completely.

 i remember that day. mom and i were sitting in the waiting room. i was knitting. mom was sitting. uncle byron came for a quick visit. then we got the news. the news that changed our lives forever. i remember calling megan and telling her what they found. that was awful. we both cried…a lot. dad took the news hard. he was still out of it from the procedure, but he was quiet and pessimistic, neither of which were characteristics of his.

the three of us went home. dad slept for a few hours. when he woke up, he was extremely negative. he kept talking about how he was going to die soon. he said that his life might as well be over. he wouldn’t eat. he was depressed. but he woke up the next morning and he was back to his normal, optimistic self. he was positive and hopeful. he recognized the fact that although this situation was not ideal, we would all find a way to make it through, with God’s help and direction.

over the last seven years of my dad’s life, he endured what many would consider to be hell on earth. he was attacked physically, emotionally, and relationally. but after the day of his diagnosis, i have never seen my dad be anything less than a heroic fighter. he fought with all he had right up until his last breath.

so yeah, i guess i was right. my life was too good to be true. but, as much as i hate how things turned out, i am reminded of the lessons i’ve learned. and i also remember that things could be worse. my dad taught me more in ten minutes than many people get from their dad’s in a lifetime. and for that i am so thankful.

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