i can see you growing before my eyes. you get smarter and taller with every second. you are such a little old man, jude. you are particular, intelligent, and thoughtful. you are polite. you are insanely bossy.
you LOVE to cuddle. at least three times a day you come up and look at me with those huge brown eyes, messy hair, and funny teeth and say, “mama, do you want to go cuddle?” oh my gosh, its my favorite. so we run over to the couch and cuddle and talk. you were playing with your cars in the living room the other day when out of the blue you looked over at me and said “mama, i need a hug!” so you pumped your arms and ran over to me and gave me a huge hug. i want to remember that forever.
i know two mothers who lost their sons last week. that is why, no matter how busy i am, i try to take advantage of those i-want-a-hug moments. and i never want to forget what it feels like to have those grubby hands around my neck and those wet lips on my cheek. you are my little boy and i love you beyond imagination.
another phrase you are into lately is “i really like you a lot, mama!” or daddy or meme or whoever it may be. you love to say “cool dude!” and “i’m awesome!” you also say “that freaks me out” and “that’s creepy”.
daddy has a bottle cap collection that you have adopted as your own. you found them yesterday and have been obsessed ever since. you love to look at the designs and colors and sort them into groups. its the cutest thing. last night you were playing with them at the table and you said “dear god, please protect these bottle caps.” i went into your room when you woke up this morning and you were sitting on your floor with all the bottle caps matched up.
you were playing a game with the bottle caps today and you said, “this bottle cap doesn’t have a match. it’s lonely. it doesn’t have a friend. it can have this blue one. now it isn’t sad anymore!”
jude, i am so proud of you. you are so smart and funny. today you said to me, “mama, i’m happy.” jude, you make me happy.
just as i said to you today, “as long as i’m living my baby you’ll be.”