dear jude.

dear jude,

i love you, i really do. you have been literally nutty lately. i’m not sure who you are, at times. sin nature has been rearing its ugly head these days. its my job to deal and teach you how to control it, but wow, its trying.

don’t get me wrong, you are the custest little man in the world. you are thoughtful, independent, intelligent, and concerned for others. but i could remind myself of your positive qualities all day and your negatives would still be present. so we praise you for the right and teach you about the wrong. and i remind myself that you are almost three…it will pass. and when it does, i will celebrate. and i’m sure i’ll shed a tear because i love you so much where you are right now. i wish i could stop time and let those “normal jude” moments move slower than cold molasses.

yesterday morning we were in the car, headed to gramma’s. you were flipping out in your car seat. you were literally losing it, screaming at the top of your lungs “I WANT MORE JUICE! I WANT MORE JUICE!” so i took the “ignore it” approach and didn’t say a word. after screaming the same phrase at least five times, you then followed it with “WHY ARE YOU BEING SO QUIET?!” i laughed, which i think made you even more mad because you bit your lip and had blood all over your chin. oh, jude.

its fun watching you turn into an even bigger boy. you are a true man’s man. you feel comradery with other men and relate well to them. you loved playing with chris, your cousin, on thanksgiving. if he left your sight you’d say, “where’s chris?” you love to horse around with uncle nick. he gets a good workout when he throws you up in the air. uncle scott is one of your favorites. he built you a super cool track on your train table that you kept perfectly in tact. you love when uncle peter chases you. the other day you kept teasing him and saying “i’m gonna wipe my boogers on you!” you’re obsessed with papa…you’re always happy when he’s around! and then there’s daddy, your main man. you love to tackle him and make up silly songs and dances.

i know that if bampy were here you’d love him too. it hurts my heart to think of what you’re missing, although you don’t have a clue. bampy was so looking forward to taking you to geaghans, playing basketball and golf, eating mcdonald’s fries, and going to your first red sox game. but most of all he looked forward to teaching you about jesus.

you hung out with gramma, aunt kate, and daphne the other day. you went on a “secret mission” followed by lunch at mcdonalds. your mission turned out to be not so secret. when you got home i asked, “did you use the potty at mcdonald’s?” you put your finger to your chin, as if you were thinking, and said “hmm, no, who was that lady’s house we went to?” i told you i didn’t know and you are supposed to keep it a secret. you said, “well, i painted you a bowl and i painted an airplane!” whoops, guess you haven’t mastered the art of secret keeping yet.

you also went with aunt holly on an adventure recently. she and meme took you to build-a-bear and you put together a rudolph stuffed animal. you got home just as i was leaving to meet some friends. you were proudly carrying your big cardboard box with rudolph inside. i greeted you and you said, “i don’t want you to leave, mama!” i nearly ditched my friends to go inside and hang out with you! it was too cute. my eyes get teary as i remember you, bundled in your puffy winter coat, hauling that huge box up the driveway.

let me tell you, jude, you are obsessed with that reindeer! its just plain adorable. you were so excited to show lucy. you put it back in the box this morning and brought it to gramma’s. i asked you, “is rudolph a she or a he?” you said, “rudolph is a he and clarice is a she.”

your hair is so puffy and out of control right now. it reminds me of bampy’s during his final days. we always talk and laugh about how you have bampy’s hair: same color and texture.

i love you, jude bug!




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