dear jude.

dear jude,

i don’t think i’ve written of your antics since the fourth of july. it was a good day. we went to the parade, which you loved. i think you ate at least five lollipops. you watched all the vehicles in awe. you love parades! then we all went to papa and gramma’s for a cookout. we swam and played.

that night we went to the fireworks. you were kind of grumpy, but we really wanted to go. i’m glad we did because you had so much fun. we stayed in the car and you sat with daddy in the drivers seat. you were so adorable. you kept leaning over and hugging daddy. your little mouth was going a mile a minute. you said watched out the window in awe at the blasts of color. you said, “daddy, i looooove this!”

you like to crawl up to the drivers seat in the car whenever you get the chance. the other day you flipped down the mirror and said confidently, “i gotta check my hair…wow, i look pretty good.”

me, you, and lucy were driving somewhere recently. you had rudolph in your lap, as usual. you and he were conversing, as you like to do. you said, “rudolph, you’re adorable! i can’t believe you’re all mine!”

we pray every night before bed. sometimes you’re into it and sometimes you just want to read another book. we always ask what you want to pray for. the other night you said, “i want to pray that i will stop hitting you guys.” it was so precious and reminded me that i’m not completely failing as a mom…that hopefully you are maturing and realizing that your bad actions hurt others. you are so sensitive and i know that will come out as a good thing someday.

i got an e-mail the other day about kids who are gifted. it caught my attention because of my recent difficulties with you so i read on. you are so beyond your years intellectually, but you are still a three year old emotionally so it can sometimes cause difficulties for you when it comes to controlling your emotions. “gifted” kids love being around adults and they talk frequently about certain subjects that they enjoy and know well. they tend to have a hard time socially with other kids their age. they are perfectionists who get frustrated easily. i felt like i was reading an article written specifically about you.

so i’m trying to focus on certain things that will help you. self control is where its at right now. i was trying to teach you how to take a deep breath when you get frustrated. you were insanely grumpy as i was going through the motions and telling you how its done. you got that crabby look on your face and said, “i don’t like you mean people who are making me do these friggin’ weird deep breaths!”

lucy burped really loud at dinner one night. a couple days later we were talking as you sat on the toilet. you said, “you know that really loud burping thing that lucy does and papa does when he’s drinking? i can’t do that very well…maybe they’ll teach me how to do that at school!”

jude, you are awesome. the last few days you’ve been challenging, as usual. but after reading those articles, i feel like i understand you better. i can focus on certain things that will help you in those crazy moments instead of just getting mad and frustrated myself.

i love you my little manly man.

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